What would you do if your daughter starts dating someone outside of your faith? Well, Lukman Hakim says you have at least three choices: disapprove but begrudgingly accept her choice, accept it and be happy for her, or disown her... I was about to shut down my PC when my phone rang. It was Agus. ‘What about The Beat right now?’ I had no plans that day, so I immediately agreed. Besides, The Beat featured ‘live’ jazz and their waitresses are a feast to the eyes. Needless to say, it was our favourite watering hole.
On the way to The Beat, Agus spoke mostly about work and the hard time he’s having with his new boss. Every now and then, he would offer critical comments on politics. Agus is a former political activist who had, in his own term, ‘repented’ by joining the rat race.
At The Beat, we ordered beer and snacks. I was about to start my usual harmless flirting with the waitresses when Agus moved his chair closer to me. Not one to beat around the bush, Agus said, ‘I have a big problem.’ Not knowing what to say, I took a sip of my beer. ‘My daughter is seeing a non-Muslim,’ he continued. His eyes searched for my initial reaction. Finding none, ‘Ira is seeing a kafir,’ he added for effect.
I could sense the venom in his words, but the mere mention of his daughter somewhat distracted me. Ira was an attractive 18-year-old and I started to curse the guy who was seeing her, albeit for reasons different from my friend’s. ‘So what’s the big deal? She’s only seeing him, no? It’s too soon to make anything out of it,’ I offered. ‘You just don’t get it, do you? Here’s my one and only daughter, and she just have to go out with someone different,’ Agus retorted.
I didn’t know that underneath his cosmopolitan exterior, Agus concealed a conservative streak. ‘Relax, man. It’s probably just as well. The more people she gets to know, the better she will be able to hone her sense of judgment,’ I said, almost in disbelief that I could have said those words.
‘Yeah, you may be right. But still, there’s something wrong with the whole idea,’ he said, always insisting on the last word. ‘You would do our society a great service by having an open mind on such matters,’ I replied.
‘That’s exactly my point: we are not supposed to be open about such matters. But I agree, in the end it is her happiness that matters,’ he said. He finished his beer and ordered another round. {jumi [endmark.php]}
